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What parents
can do: Be a partner in their child's college progress
Courtesy of college.gov
In the Open: Talk to Your Child
When it comes to your child's hopes to continue his education,
communication is key. If you haven't had this conversation yet,
bring it up, the sooner the better. If he initiates the
conversation, be a patient and attentive listener. Ask
questions. How much research has he done? Has he talked to his
school counselor? Does he have any idea where he wants to go to
school? Has he thought about how to pay? If you
have concerns, be honest about them, but keep an open mind.
Check out
Parents' Possible Concerns at
www.college.gov to
see how you might overcome your fears. Be open to what's
possible. The Road
Ahead: Make a Plan After you and your child or
the child in your care have talked about her hopes for
postsecondary education, it's time to make a plan, regardless of
what grade she's in. It's never too soon or too late to start
planning. It makes everything a lot easier.
With a plan, everything is out in the open. There are no hidden
obstacles lurking in the back of your mind. Chances are some of
those roadblocks will seem easier to get around once you put
them in writing. There are many free online
resources that can help with your planning, starting with this
site: www.college.gov
You should never have to pay for information about college
planning and financing. Some companies make the
process seem more difficult and confusing than it really is, in
hopes of getting your business. There is simply no need to pay
for information that is readily available for free.
Making It Happen: Supervise and Support After
you plan, it's time for action. Decide what roles you and your
child or the child in your care should play. What you decide
will be based on your unique family situation.
You probably don't want to be a "helicopter parent;" the type
that hovers over the child throughout his school career,
sometimes making college decisions without even consulting the
child. Don't be at the other extreme either, by
doing nothing to help him continue his education. Find the right
balance. Think of yourself as the key supporter
of this project. Make sure your child takes care of important
tasks by certain dates. Praise his good performance and provide
supportive correction when he isn't measuring up. And be there
to handle things that only a parent or primary caregiver can.
The Basics: Play Your Part Planning aside,
there are some basic things you can do to help your child
prepare to continue her education. Of course, every family
situation is unique. There may be only so much you can do, based
on your work schedule, your financial situation and other family
commitments. The important thing is that you stay involved and
offer meaningful help where and when you can:
•
Talk to her teachers and counselors. Let them know
that you support her educational goals and ask for their help
and support, too. Ask teachers and counselors to tell you about
anything that concerns them about her progress. Stay in contact
with them throughout the school year, every year.
•
Set realistic academic expectations. Monitor your
child's schoolwork habits and performance and let him know that
you expect him to work hard.
•
Make sure he takes challenging classes and applies himself
•
Watch out for signs that he is struggling, as he may try to hide
them
•
If he is having trouble, see if you can help, or, if possible,
help find a tutor for him. Ask his counselor for recommendations
Grades are definitely important, but your main focus should be
that he is doing his best and challenging himself.
•
Enforce limits. Kids today have more distractions than ever.
You know your child and her work habits. Let her know that you
expect her to put school and her college plans first. That means
limiting her time socializing with friends (whether in person,
on the phone or on the Internet), playing video games, watching
TV, surfing the Web or even working at an after-school job.
•
Be
his biggest cheerleader. Healthy self-esteem is so important
to a child's success. Your praise and approval are critical.
When you celebrate his accomplishments, he sees that you're
always paying attention, not just when he falls short. On the
other hand, don't overdo it. Kids can sense when you're being
sincere and when you're not.
•
Introduce her to the world of work. Many kids
worry that they shouldn't continue their education after high
school because they haven't decided on a career. Let your child
know that that's perfectly normal. At the same time, help her
understand what it means to have a job and a career:
•
Point out how some of her interests and talents might connect
with a career. For instance, does she love music or play an
instrument? Mention that aside from being a musician, there are
dozens of other jobs, such as recording engineer or concert
promoter, where a love of music is the starting point.
•
If she has already mentioned an interest in a certain career,
help her explore it. Maybe you know someone in that field who
might be willing to talk to her about it. Look for books,
magazine articles and newspaper items that might stoke her
interest.
•
Share your experience. Do you have a fulfilling career? Talk to
her about the path you took to get there. Are you dissatisfied
with your employment path? Discuss things you might have done
differently and help her learn from your example.
•
Help him pursue his interests. Colleges like to
see activities outside of school on student resumes. These
activities can also help your child discover subjects that might
interest him in college and maybe point to a career. Encourage
him to try any positive activity that truly interests him, and
provide any support you can to help him stick with the ones he
really loves.
•
Be her sounding board. From choosing a school, to
coping with test anxiety, to keeping her grades up, she has a
lot to deal with on her path to continue her education. Keep the
lines of communication open:
•
Let her know she can talk to you about her hopes, dreams and
fears. Be as positive as you can, even when you think she's
being a little unrealistic. That doesn't mean you can't speak up
when you think she's making a serious error in judgment — that's
part of your job as her parent or primary caregiver.
•
Help her look at all sides of an issue. When she's considering
where she wants to go to school, help her think of questions she
needs to ask herself, such as whether she wants to go to school
locally or out of town. Does she want to get a 4-year degree, or
a 2-year degree or certificate for a specific type of job? What
kind of roommate would she be compatible with? Because you know
her best, you can help her make decisions that are right for
her.
•
Do the grown-up stuff. There are some things that
only you as an adult can do. One example might be promptly
filing your income taxes in January of your child's senior year.
That way you can work together to complete the
Free Application for
Federal Student Aid as soon as possible. Another would be
chaperoning him to out-of-town college visits. |
